If I Tell You (Christian Movie Review)
If I Tell You deals with complex, heavy topics with astonishing grace and features a stellar cast that makes viewers feel like part of the family.
About the Film
I had no idea what I was getting myself into before I started If I Tell You, and I was pleasantly surprised. The film follows a young boy on the cusp of his teenage years who is grappling with things no adult should have to face. In a way, it’s the story of his loss of innocence, the turning point from childhood to adulthood. If I Tell You deals with complex, heavy topics with astonishing grace and features a stellar cast that makes viewers feel like part of the family.
Right off the bat, it is important to note that the film deals with the rape of two women, including a main character. Neither instance is shown, but it’s a heavy topic not suitable for some viewers. That being said, the film does a good job of dealing with the inevitable aftermath of the tragedies, including the guilt, fear, and grief felt by the victims, the helplessness and sorrow experienced by their loved ones, and the complicated politics behind the decision to report or not report the crime. The film asks an important question: How do we heal and grow when God’s great design is desecrated in such an evil way? In the end, this film offers hope.
I appreciated a short scene during which Michael, the main protagonist, is doing homework at the table. After his mother leaves, his father sits on the couch looking defeated. Quietly, he begins to cry. Michael sits next to him, and that is it. This tender moment is a much needed and beautiful break from Hollywood’s tendency not to show men crying other than after physical injury or for comic relief.
On a brighter note, the casting is excellent. The main characters are a group of teens trying to make sense of the world. These talented young actors easily bring the emotion the story requires. Etienne Kellici, the young actor who plays Michael, is especially impressive. He perfectly balances moments of elation with heartbreak, anger, and love.
This film offers an honest representation of a middle schooler’s life, questions, and problems. There are conversations about God, unemployment, and relationships. Children are trusted to handle responsibilities and consider mature topics. At the same time, they still deal with school bullies, short-lived crushes, and the desire for fun. It’s a pivotal few years in a person’s life, and this film doesn’t shy away from those complexities. It showcases the power of a child’s mind, will, and passion and reminds viewers of how strong kids really are.
There is a subplot involving Christianity and the family’s relationship with God. Michael and his grandmother attend church every Sunday, but his parents don’t. He talks to his mom about it in one scene, and she mentions that it’s sometimes harder to believe in God than at other times. Michael agrees, and they don’t speak of it again. But later in the film, after some healing has taken place, the mom is shown at church, and Michael helps her with a hymnal. It’s a small but beautiful moment in a story that is saturated with brokenness.
This film takes its time but is never boring. It is a celebration of everyday suburban life, and the viewer feels like part of the community. From the way it is filmed to the set design and performances, every detail builds a world of pain, loss, healing, and love. All you have to do is step inside.
For Consideration
On the Surface—(Profanity, Sexual content, violence, etc.).
Language: Mild profanity, including the s-word and an f-word (a derogatory term for someone identifying as homosexual).
Violence: Kids shove each other, but there is no blood. The women who have been raped are seen bloodied and bruised, but the violent acts are not shown.
Sexuality: A woman is seen dancing in her underwear (with a shirt on) in front of her boyfriend. Kids look at a porn magazine that belongs to one of their fathers. Only a blurry cover photo can be seen, but the kids talk about “tits,” and one of the male friends says, “Look at the abs on him.” There are conversations about rape. After a woman is raped (not shown), Michael finds her on the ground with one of her breasts exposed.
Other: One kid steals a beer from the grown-ups’ stash at a block party, and they try it but find it disgusting.
Engage The Film
Second-Hand Grief
Towards the end of the film, Michael is sitting with his grandmother when she says, “When something happens to someone you love, it doesn’t just happen to that person. It happens to all the people that love them.” Second-hand grief is real. It encompasses guilt for what you should have done, fear for what could happen, anger, helplessness, and plenty of other emotions. It’s the result of living in a community, and it is magnified when you live as part of a collective body.
1 Corinthians 12:24-26 says, “Instead, God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the less honorable, so that there would be no division in the body, but that the members would have the same concern for each other. So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”
We are made to live in communion with one another, and the result is the highest highs and the lowest lows. A shared burden is a lightened load, while a shared triumph becomes a greater joy.
In this film, a secret puts a burden on Michael he can’t bear alone. He holds out for as long as he can before he has to tell someone. Once the truth is out, the initial hurt is followed by reconciliation and a stronger bond than ever before.
